Forgiveness and Faith
We purposely walked through a three-step process that is commonly suggested to forgive others, even yourself. First, call the person’s name and image to mind. Next, we speak forgiveness and release to the person out loud. Finally, we ask God to shower the person with His richest blessings. Each time a hurt or negative incident comes to mind we repeat the process. Eventually, we felt such a rush of joy, coming in spurts, that we could let go of the pain and negative memories. Our faith was being energized and strengthened.
But, I occasionally seemed to fall back into fear when I saw the blood in the catheter. Larry kept asking “Why are you so fearful? Have faith.” As I continued to walk and pray, one morning the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart so clearly, “Don’t look at the blood, look at Jesus. Look at God, the Father of all healing and wholeness.” I began to realize a growing trust in God and respect for Larry’s faith, peace and discernment. Watching him deal with the blood in his urine and the implications of the blood on an hour-by-hour basis challenges me to deeper faith, not in Larry but in Jesus. As we continued to pray and talk, I became convinced this illness was not unto death (John 11:4…Speaking of Lazarus, Jesus said, “This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it.”) That was a gift from the Lord in this dark season.
The CT scan with contrast revealed that Larry’s kidneys were functioning, allowing the medical team to rule out cancer of the kidneys. By the first week of July, the catheter had been in for about a month and the urologist scheduled Larry for a bladder scope and biopsy of his prostate. On July 7 (Thursday) after about three or four days of clear urine, we went for the tests. The urologist took 12 biopsy samples, scoped his bladder and said his prostate was unusually large (the size of a baseball), but that it looked healthy. We got the results back a few days later and his prostate appeared to be free of cancer and so was his bladder. We praised God that so far cancer was not the cause of the blood.
We had a conference with Dr Tissot, who offered us three options for how to treat his enlarged prostate. First, he could use a catheter for the rest of his life, an option with NO appeal. The second was to surgically install a tube attached to his bladder, exiting his navel and attached to an external bag for the rest of his life. The third option was to surgically remove a portion of his prostate. The last option offered the promise of a normal life. Dr Tissot is a great salesman!
Surgery was scheduled for July 25. We thought we were in the clear….
